Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
