My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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