What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
