weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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