Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
