at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
