New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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