Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
