There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
