Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's just like the Real World with babies
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
