This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
