We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
