they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
