is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
