Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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