I wish I could teleport
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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