ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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