he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
