Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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