At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
