i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There r osticjed everywhere
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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