let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
