You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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