I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
