His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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