You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
