Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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