My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
So. Much. Porn.
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