My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
