she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
