You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
