we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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