9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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