you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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