Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
