After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
