I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
