He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
