he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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