Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
