did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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