I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
