ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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