She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
