Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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