You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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