She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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