Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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