She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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