I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
