i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize