Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
