is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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