I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize