Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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