something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize