Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
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